24 Jul Grief Must Take Defeat
Grief is such a personal emotion. To some, it means the loss of a beloved it, to some it could mean a heart that has been broken by a lover to others it could mean loss of a job. Some people feel deeply grieved at leaving home and struggling with everyday pursuits truly.
It is a very personal feeling. But to my mind, it is a very debilitating and dehumanizing feeling, strangely. Traditionally, a woman is expected to accept grief as part and parcel of her life and wear it like a badge of honor.
I often wonder what it could mean to a woman. I am a woman and I have faced all of these above-mentioned things, but what perhaps hurts a woman most of all is not being appreciated for all that one has done for everyone along life’s way.
Ever since the realization of time, a person feels the burden of expectations. Those are many. When one is a little girl, one is made aware that girls need to behave in a particular way and not like tomboys.
As they grow they are constantly being told, good girls don’t speak loudly or they don’t encourage strangers from talking to them…and so many dictates that society sets before them. but suddenly one flash someday tells her what it means to be a woman.
I am not ashamed to say that before I qualified to be a woman, a lady, all I thought about was putting lipstick, makeup, making a snazzy hairstyle, wearing insanely high heels and gadding about town with a handsome husband in tow, eating butter chicken every night. Alas, it took but a few weeks for the realization to dawn that being a woman did not mean that at all. It meant a million other things, all quite removed from my rainbow dreams.
I was insanely grieved, at that giddy age, to make rajma chawal for 10 guests…a talent I did not have at all. In fact, I saw rajma only after I got married. That was one very sorry situation and my young impressionable mind was full of the grief of having married to do this and not eat out everyday!!!!!! It sounds very unbelievable now but at that moment nothing worse could have befallen me. Today I can feed rajma chawal to hundreds at the snap of a finger. It no longer grieves me!!!
Some grief is phenomenal. Life is like a string of pearls that are woven together, moments of happiness, moments of unhappiness and moments of dizzy joy ad depths of grief. The grief that one feels at the loss of a parent, a partner is indescribable. It’s like scraping out your innards.
But should grief control our lives?
Should not our intelligent perception of grief make us realize the importance of the joys of the happy moments?
Robin Sharma encourages us to create a chant for ourselves, every day as we wake..My chant has become” there is no grief strong enough to dull the pleasure of being alive and to SEE the grief and yet NOT FEEL it”.
The mind becomes a powerful instrument to affirm your beliefs, positive or negative.
Strengthen your mind. Let no grief lead. Let passion for living, passion for hope and positivity lead. No matter what your idea of grief is, let it go.
Be a woman whose strength, positivity for the worst life situations, translates into victory over grief. It sounds bookish, but believe me, over time, it is possible.
A great woman is she who knows that she is a strong woman and does not allow that to be her excuse for being weak and full of grief and helplessness. Look at your lives, Take note of what could be potential grief-factor. Throw it out of the scheme of things before it finds a home in your heart. A painful heart is much worse than a painful head.
Grief must take defeat.